A Story of Broken-hearted Mother...

This fiction was inspired by a true story told to me during an interview with a psychiatric patient's guardian...

My name is M. I'm a single mother. I own a small business which earn me an average income to continue support my family. I have a son and a daughter. My daughter is a sweet little girl currently studying in a primary school but my son...

My son was diagnosed with autism since he was 5 years old. He couldn't read or learn language and lacks social skills. He also has a short temper. Whenever he gets angry he will seek to destroy anything within his reach. That includes a RM 3000 machine I recently bought for my business and me, his mother.

I think the problem affecting my son didn't come by itself. I think I'm the source of his problem. Over the years I failed to become a mother he wishes for. I failed to heed for his call when he needs me. The fight between me and my ex-husband only made things worse.

Although, it takes two to tango, I can't really put the blame on my ex-husband. If I knew his true nature, I would've reject his proposal to marry me a long time ago.

All I have to blame now is myself.

Putting the dark past behind, I'm now seeking a better future for my son. I wish to see him to become a better person and to be able to fend for himself when I'm no longer around. Although he is resentful towards me, I don't mind. Maybe Rumah Sinar Harapan is the place where he belongs to.

Upon retrieving information about the place, I immediately contact the administration office. After telling them about my son and my wish to send him there, they seems to agree to accept my son. So, I follow all the procedures that have been told to me in order to get my son into the place.

For one week, I went from one agency to another to get the proper documents needed for his registration. I even took a day off and skipped a compulsory business course just to obtain a Government doctor's report about my son's condition.

Sadly, when the registration day finally came, I got a phone call from Officer A***** telling me that my son case was not approved.

Did he know how devastated I was when I heard that news? My feet were all trembling and I was about to faint. How could he tell me that at the last moment, especially after all the effort that I've put through?

When I asked for further explanation, he told me that they have figured out that my son's aggressive behavior is a risk to the other occupants in Rumah Sinar Harapan. He also told me that my son problem is so severe that he might no get any benefit from that place.

Just to get the point straight, I replied to them that my son is not an aggressive person. Yes, he had hit his mother once but he did so out of his resentment towards me. Being his mother I knew him inside out. He WON'T hurt anyone else!

I know his learning difficulty is so severe but I swear to God that he got an exceptional talent in computing. He can do wonders with the machine. You just have to give him a chance and let him prove his capability to you.

I beg them to accept my son because that's the only safe place that I know he can go. He he can no longer live comfortably with me. Even if he stays, he will always go out and only God knows what he does out there. I've tried other places, but he can't be accepted due to various reasons including his age.

Please...

Anybody out there, I need help...

The interview had to be terminated because the patient was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion...