A reminiscent of the past...

Just taking a break from psycho thingy...

I'd like to share this video, a performance, which was shot during my first few months in Dublin...



I suppose we were performing for MASAI which is an acronym for Malam Seni dan Aspirasi Islam in 2008 which was organized by PPIMI which is another short form for Persatuan Pelajar Islam Malaysia Ireland.

Reminiscing the past is actually a recognized sort of psychotherapy especially for demented patient. It may help to improve your mood, memory and quality of life.

So, go reflect on your own past...

P/s: Only works if you recall happy past events only...

A Story of Broken-hearted Mother...

This fiction was inspired by a true story told to me during an interview with a psychiatric patient's guardian...

My name is M. I'm a single mother. I own a small business which earn me an average income to continue support my family. I have a son and a daughter. My daughter is a sweet little girl currently studying in a primary school but my son...

My son was diagnosed with autism since he was 5 years old. He couldn't read or learn language and lacks social skills. He also has a short temper. Whenever he gets angry he will seek to destroy anything within his reach. That includes a RM 3000 machine I recently bought for my business and me, his mother.

I think the problem affecting my son didn't come by itself. I think I'm the source of his problem. Over the years I failed to become a mother he wishes for. I failed to heed for his call when he needs me. The fight between me and my ex-husband only made things worse.

Although, it takes two to tango, I can't really put the blame on my ex-husband. If I knew his true nature, I would've reject his proposal to marry me a long time ago.

All I have to blame now is myself.

Putting the dark past behind, I'm now seeking a better future for my son. I wish to see him to become a better person and to be able to fend for himself when I'm no longer around. Although he is resentful towards me, I don't mind. Maybe Rumah Sinar Harapan is the place where he belongs to.

Upon retrieving information about the place, I immediately contact the administration office. After telling them about my son and my wish to send him there, they seems to agree to accept my son. So, I follow all the procedures that have been told to me in order to get my son into the place.

For one week, I went from one agency to another to get the proper documents needed for his registration. I even took a day off and skipped a compulsory business course just to obtain a Government doctor's report about my son's condition.

Sadly, when the registration day finally came, I got a phone call from Officer A***** telling me that my son case was not approved.

Did he know how devastated I was when I heard that news? My feet were all trembling and I was about to faint. How could he tell me that at the last moment, especially after all the effort that I've put through?

When I asked for further explanation, he told me that they have figured out that my son's aggressive behavior is a risk to the other occupants in Rumah Sinar Harapan. He also told me that my son problem is so severe that he might no get any benefit from that place.

Just to get the point straight, I replied to them that my son is not an aggressive person. Yes, he had hit his mother once but he did so out of his resentment towards me. Being his mother I knew him inside out. He WON'T hurt anyone else!

I know his learning difficulty is so severe but I swear to God that he got an exceptional talent in computing. He can do wonders with the machine. You just have to give him a chance and let him prove his capability to you.

I beg them to accept my son because that's the only safe place that I know he can go. He he can no longer live comfortably with me. Even if he stays, he will always go out and only God knows what he does out there. I've tried other places, but he can't be accepted due to various reasons including his age.

Please...

Anybody out there, I need help...

The interview had to be terminated because the patient was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion...

What the mind have to say...

Today is going to be a long day...

I'll be posted for 12 hours, in a public psychiatric ward which is located just a few blocks away from where i'm staying right now.

The ward is filled with patients who have problem of impaired mental state.


In other words, their minds can't function properly and they have to be admitted to the ward so that they can be taken care off and protected from the possibility of harming themselves or others.

So, my task today will be to learn as much as i can from observing their behavior, interaction and also other technical stuff in the ward.

I may also required to interview some patients with a specific disease to study the symptoms of that particular disorder and gain some experience.

But, mind you, interviewing a psychiatric patient is an uphill task.

It's not as easy as my previous encounter with other patients who don't have problem in their mind.

You have to be patience when talking to a psychiatric patient. It's not easy to extract information out of them

Some like to talk a lot. The volume of their speech is so enormous that you find it so hard to draw a line between the facts and mere gibberish.

On the other hand, some of them spoke very few words and sometimes they don't really feel comfortable talking to you. Every time you ask a question, they will reply with a short answer. Usually only a word.

This patient will test your perseverance, especially when there is 10 minutes left before your presentation and your history taking sheet is still blank!

However, so far, i think the psychiatric rotation is quite enjoyable.

They present me with a challenge as well as an opportunity to explore the mystery of our mind.

Some patient even offer you an insight where i might consider it as inspiring. A patient told me how lucky he was to be in the ward because he could get the chance to detached himself from the real world and contemplating on himself.

Some are admitted with a spectacular story that i'm sure will make a good publishing.

All in all, psychiatric posting is not bad at all.

To be honest, you don't really learn about disease in the ward because if you're aiming for that then, in my experience, you may get disappointed.

In psychiatric ward there are only PEOPLE who sick. You learn about PEOPLE...

Enter the mind...

Salam...



"Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt




This was a famous quote from the then President of the U.S.

It was said around the time when U.S. were at war with the Axis power...

I like this quote because, in my opinion, the present and future state of ourselves is totally determined by our own will.

In other words, we shape our own life.

If we choose to lead a very successful life, then, we will mold our mindset to achieve that goal.

However, if we think that we are naturally born to fail...then, whatever we do will be met with everlasting failure...even before we start doing it.

So, free up your mind from negative thinking, embrace a confident attitude and InsyaAllah (god willing) we can get/achieve what we want.

In the case of Mr. Franklin D. Roosevelt, he managed to led his country to World War II glory against all odds when the country itself was recovering from a severe economic crash caused by the Great depression...

"Lo! Allah changeth not the condition of a folk until they (first) change that which is INSIDE themselves" (13:11)